Kyoto

I went to Kyoto today. I sometimes go there for exhibitions, and it's not so far. It takes 2 hours and half by train.
This time, it was for an exhibition of "Kyosai". This artist was active during end of Edo to Meiji period, middle to end 19th century. He is better known abroad, because he had an English disciple, an architect Josiah Conder, and there is a big collection in Europe, such as Guimet Museum or British Museum.
His works are fabulous. His drawing technique is outstanding and he studied about classic Japanese art and modern European art. He was cultured man and formed a friendship with foreign people. In his works they are filled with humor and sarcasm with wit, not only beautiful but same time so cool! I even feel his personality. I think he was a man who don't see people with a label. He could face to a foreigner not as "a foreigner" but "a person", that's the reason why Guimet or Conder liked him.
19th century is the period that Japan opened a country to foreign intercourse, which is very interesting period, therefore society, culture and people all were in agitation.
What makes me excited when I meet art works is that I can feel people from them. Although it's made in far from now, I feel touching people who made it. Today, I certainly felt Kyosai who lived through the modern Japan, Meiji period.

After visiting the exhibition, I was wandering around in Kyoto city. Kyoto is located in a basin, so it's really hot in summer (even summer in Japan is deadly hot, it's more.), and very cold in winter. However, in this season, it's really calm and the city is charming after all. The long history gives significance to Kyoto, I suppose.

recommendation

Now I got a letter of recommendation for a scholarship.
It must be really grateful thing,,,but this is a little heavy. I need to pass other test and interview, moreover a high score of TOEFL is required. I'm not sufficient for that now.
I'm stressed a little, and afraid of if I fail,,, Every time I face to the situation I'd be evaluated, I get so nervous. I think I'm really afraid of disappoint or being disappointed. I hate how I'm weak mentally.
However, I need to get over this, at least deal with this better, since I cannot avoid this kind of situation which appears many times in my life. I should not escape from this fear,,,
The only thing I can do now is studying English for the test. And keep going on normal student life.

Spring has come, and everything is moving. There is a party today for freshmen who start their new step for their future in our college.
I gotta make an action for my future also.

days with school.

These days it became really warm. Cherry blossom is gone now, and young leaves awake. In my planter, I found some little green buds. A sprout makes me happy.
Now my school started, and I met new people (but they aren't from my school though) who are really cool. I cannot believe that I've had 3 parties in April!! That's too much,,,it's about time to study.
I really feel one day is too short to do something. I was preparing for my thesis today, and staying at the library all day, but I could do just a little.
I'll have a interview for my scholarship the day after tomorrow. I'm not sure if I can get it, but I go abroad next year anyway. I'll manage it somehow,,,

I've been having kind of weird feeling so far,,,since last summer vacation. People says I changed a bit, and I think I changed a lot!
I don't know why, but my surrounding became more astir, the relationship. Before my staying in Spain, my relationship was tranquil (and still tranquil in the school). I had a argue with a friend, which tires me a lot,,,it was kind of a dispute, because we are a bit emotional. I rarely get angry, so the stirring up thing is tiresome. I don't know what's going on, but some people came closer. I know it's welcome thing,,, but sometimes they came too closer. It's "Hedgehog's Dilemma", I think there is good distance between people. I like people basically, because I'm so weak to being lonely, I'm not strong mentally always.
"Birds of a feather flock together", so it's been tranquil so far around me, but that friend might not be "a feather", or if he didn't have special expectation to me, it could be different. Once the relationship have to do with deep emotional thing, it's too much for me! I cannot deal with this,,,I don't want to hurt somebody, but sometimes there is no way to avoid. And it's really critical. After this experience, I found that there are some people whom I cannot to be together deeply, and not every people can turn back before the issue.
I was thinking if people talk, they will understand, but it was not really. Maybe I've been lucky that my surrounding has been consisted of cool people who never reject communication. There are many people in the world, so it's an experience for the next. I gotta learn some more.

Days at school are tranquil. I study at library as like before, I talk with school friends as like before. Since my school is an art school, most of my friends are artists or historians. It's literally "Birds of a feather flock together.", it's cozy but a special circumstances, I know.
I like people who have something inside, and are independent mentally. Some people say I insist own opinion too much, and maybe yes, as a Japanese I talk too honestly and directly. I'm sorry if it bothers others, but I'm not good at guessing others mind and flattering like others. I'd like to know what they think, and to let them know what I think, moreover I cannot say what I don't think. My good friends are somehow same as me, or in other word, we became good friends because of this character. We are independent but together because we stimulate, comfort each other and know the distance.
,,,,this kind of cool relationship was all of mine before. But now I know another hot world, which is sometimes bad, sometimes great. I still feel awkward with this, I hope I'll be accustomed to deal with this.

Anyway what I need to do principally is studying. I have a private Spanish class tomorrow. I gotta go to bed!

days with parents.

Now I'm in my home town where near Nagoya, central part and Pacific sea side of Japan.
It's been 3 days since I came back. It's warmer than where I live now, Kanazawa, therefore almost all cherry blossoms are blooming fully.
I think especially in spring time Japan is more beautiful than usual. The climate is the best in this season, and flower is everywhere. Even I prefer autumn, whenever spring come I'm excited.
It's said that Japanese people are obsessed with cherry blossoms, but if you see them, you'll understand. They have mysterious charm.
Cherry blossom blooms just for one week. Then when it's falling petals, it's like whitey pink storming. and during the nights, cherry blossoms are sometimes lighted up and they seem even sexy. being hold by darkness they show deeper colour with a lamp.
There is a rumor which says "Actually a cherry blossom's flower is white. but it seems pink, do you know why? under a cherry blossom there is a corpse, and they absorb blood from them."
it's a bit spooky though attractive. It sounds "femme fatal". And Japanese people are obsessed with these women and have a parties under them, for admiring their beauty.
Moreover, I'm gonna admire their beauty on next Sunday. It's actually an excuse for drinking anyway, but it's good day!