Friday, September 9, 2011

The changes

The summer has gone, and the autumn sound is reaching to my ear. I have had lovely three summer in UK, even they were short and rainy sometimes, and I won't have third melancholic autumn in UK, even I love Hyde park covered with dried dead leaves.

I am moving to France.

It is actually surprising that I have already spent two and half years, precisely 892 days here. Of course, I was not always here, and I am definitely sure I belong to Japan. The 11 March disaster shook me and put me through the sadness and feeling of loss. I will never escape from this feeling and disappointment in the government. Something is wrong in Japan.
However, I have built up my pretty sober and calm social life here. I would say, it was simply brilliant. Studying in SOAS was exciting and stimulating. Whereas I feel not satisfied at some parts. I feel I am abandoning half built bricks.

Never mind, I got a thing to do. Learning French will be a bit of challenge anyway, I have to go through pretty down-to-the-earth life there. Sadly, I am not independent yet. I am too lucky to have this circumstance, I know. Hence, although I am holding complicated feeling for being "parasite", I grant it as my responsibility to maximize the opportunity. Two years, I have this time to establish myself with my new family.

That is why I am moving to France. I am getting married to my boyfriend.

Looking back on our path, I have to admit it was not always crossing. We started it from bright summer in Madrid in 2007, having several crossing points in each several months, Brussels in November, Paris in March, Japan in August, London in March. We traveled together to Amsterdam and Barcelona. He went to Japan alone while I was in Oxford, I was happy to hear how he enjoyed the hot summer in Tokyo. It sounded such adventure. The bubbly feeling to be "foreigner" in strange country is always fun. No responsibility, no restriction, no real life burden; "holiday". The life in London was partially holiday. I was not in Japan, he was not in France. It was great together.
However, now we need the strength to enjoy our real life. We will find joy in daily life, not in somewhere pain-free paradise. We will bring "adventure" into our life.

I think, I am not sure what it turns out to be. That's why I write what I want it to be. Self-comforting, but it is necessary sometimes, isn't it? At least, it is not self-misery, or lamenting, thank goodness. I am still hopeful for it. In the middle of anxiety and excitement.

The good thing is I love winter in Europe. Ant the winter is coming. So, let's expect happy winter in France. I like spring and autumn in Japan, summer in Spain, winter in France. Because, there are lots of beautiful things. See, the life is beautiful, as long as you take it easy.

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