Tuesday, December 8, 2009

So far so Long in London

Even I feel it's not that long living in London though it's been 8 month since I came here. Wow, it seems many in number... and yes, I've done many things.

I changed a flat once. I lived in Charlton which is in southeast London however I moved to the central London. I am living in Russell Square now. I got 3 flatmates, two of them are a couple and one is single lady, and everyone is Japanese. The formar flatmates were more variated in nationality. There were French couple whom are really good friends of mine still and a Latovian girl, and Turkish landlord. As like a nomal case, the landlord wasn't that nice as every landlord is not usually.

I went to Oxford for this summer studying English. It was great time that I could be an irresponsible language student. It wasn't a great summer weather in Oxford but I made some other trip to Amsterdam and Milan. Surprisingly, it was cheap.I went to Amsterdam to see my friends from Japan, but they are not Japanese. They were exchange students from Lyden University. I visited my friends in Milan as well and I made some little trips there. I didn't have much luck for the weather though it was fun. My boyfriend came with me to Amsterdam but not to Milan. We had a good time in Ams riding bikes around there. It was great.

He had been in Japan, Tokyo for the summer. It sounds that he liked there. I think that staying in Tokyo as a forigner is interesting. I do love Japan and I would go back eventually though I don't think Tokyo is the best place to live. I prefer country for living anyhow.

Nevertheless, I miss Japan thesedays a lot. Maybe it's not Japan but what I can do in Japan seems much more than here. For example the research on Japanese crafts still attracts me a lot. I cannot give it up still and sometimes that memory drags me back to the thought "what am I doing here besides what I can do in Japan?"

Of course there many things I want to learn and study here and I feel I'm making progress. Therefore I don't think it's wasting time nor regret having come here. I'm enjoying my new study, Japanese language education, and I'm teaching privately which is quite interesting. Moreover I try to enter a master course of art history here. Now I'm studying English for that.

The foundimental question is where I am heading. There are many oppotunities and things I want to do. Since I will have a qualification for teaching Japanese, I could survive anywhere in the world. And I'm fascinated by Mexico. I want to live there sometime. I could do it after finishing my study. Or I deal Japanese crafts with people I know from the research. It's harder but I got some connections and they seem to be functioning.

But in those cases, I won't be with my boyfriend. Even it was in Japan, I don't think it is easy for him to be there. He is young and bright but not like me, rolling weed. I love him and now he is an important condition in my decision. I never want to hurt him more. There are too many things that I cannot tell him about my wishes.

The timing is everything of the life. Then maybe if I find a job in Mexico before my boyfriend becomes the most important element in my life I would choose Mexico. Or if there will be an interesting job dealing Japanese crafts abroad, I would take it.

Anyhow it should be my choice because he doesn't take a responsibility for my life. Well, actually I don't know what he wants to do and how much he want to come into my life. I don't have any idea whether he wants to be with me for long making a lot of effort. And I don't have enough courage to ask him them. Because we haven't had crucial conversation a lot. Because we haven't spent daily life a lot together. He might not know how I am actually. I'm such a coward. sigh.

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